Swamiye Sharanam Ayyappa!

A close non-malayalee friend of mine asked me what was my reaction to the Supreme Court verdict on allowing women to Sabarimala temple. I said I have mixed feelings! And she asked me why mixed feelings?

I am 48, have a lot of grey hair and am medically cleared to go to Sabarimala (thanks to an early partial hysterectomy at the age of 40).

So why haven't I made the trip in the last 8 years? I don't know! It definitely wasn't the belief that women should go there only after menopause. I didn't feel the need to rush! Or was I waiting for some more time just to be compliant? I am not sure. It was OK for me to sit and pray to him from home.

I believe in god. I pray. I visit temples.

How did I become a believer? Mostly because of what my parents and elders taught and told me when I was a child. Somewhere, there was also a bit of a pressure and fear put into me at a young age to follow the customs as dictated. And I was not one of those who questioned those. 

I continue to follow some of the practices, but differently now. I follow only those practices that gives me mental peace.

When I am in my ancestral village, I go to a number of temples (my daughters call them temple runs). There are multiple reasons why I do that. Now I just like going there, it makes me feel content! The smell, the lamps, the environment - they bring back peace and happiness! It is a trip back to some lovely memories of my parents. It is touching to watch my younger brother, who is an ardent believer, surrendering himself to god! It just feels nice, it feels as if I am following an unwritten duty to myself!

So back to the question on Supreme Court verdict. When I first heard about this appeal, my first reaction was is this really what women empowerment in India/Kerala needs to focus on.

As I started reading and thinking about it, I felt I may not have given this enough thought. I also went through a number of WA posts, videos and arguments in FB which were absolutely crazy.

I remember my father going to Sabarimala religiously for 25 years. At that time, it was next to impossible for a woman to travel to Sabarimala - physically difficult to make that trip. I remember my mother sitting in a closed room and not touching anything during her periods when my father was on the 41 day vrutham (fast/vow). Over a period of time, I have seen this practice going away.  Who could afford so many leaves (my mom was a teacher), who would cook for the family when my mom was inside the room (I don't think my father even knew how to make tea!!). I have also seen my male relatives going to Sabarimala without the 41 day vrutham off late. Things changed to suit our way of living.

I come from Taliparamba, home to the famous Sri Raja Rajeswara temple. Women are allowed inside the temple only at night and on Maha Sivarathri. Till recently, I didn't think of it as a gender bias. I followed the custom dutifully! These customs have been ingrained in me so much that I have been following them blindly! I felt gratified that I have the opportunity to go inside at night.

I am glad, this verdict has made me look at these customs differently.  Though there is a nagging doubt from what I have been taught and told for 40+ years, I now think, it is fair to give equal rights to women to go to any place of worship. There comes the mixed feelings!

I sent my daughters to Sabarimala when they were 9 years old. I am really glad that they now have an option to choose based on what they believe in. It isn't a small win!!!

I want to go to Sabarimala a second time with my cousin - she and I climbed the mala (hill) when we were 9 years old! It was great fun! I know I can't recreate that magic, but reliving that beautiful journey will definitely bring some happiness!

Thrichambaram Utsavam

I come from this place called Thrichambaram in Taliparamba, a small town in those days. When you google for Thrichambaram or Taliparamba, the first thing that you would see is the names of the famous temples in and around! I was born and brought up in this beautiful place! (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taliparamba). For us, people from Thrichambaram, the month of March is very important- wherever you are in the world, the only relevant question is “are you going for the Utsavam”? Thrichambaram temple festival (Utsavam pronounced as Ulsavam) starts on 6th of March and ends on 20th of March, based on the Malayalam calendar.

As kids, more than the festivities around the temple, the markets (ചന്ത in Malayalam) held our attraction. Bangles in all colours and sizes, toys, dolls, balloons- a year long wait was worth it. I remember looking at Amma expectantly to see if she was going to buy me bangles. It then became a favourite pastime time with my cousin, Bindu, roaming around looking for stuff. Now I look forward to buying bangles for my nieces, also buying stuff that I really don't need :-) This year, I was back home in March though for a different reason.

From 6th to 16th March, the idols of Krishna and Balaram, the brother who visits him for a fortnight, are taken out in the night (2-3 am)  to a place called “Pookkothu Nada” very close to my house. I remember my mom waking me up and telling me that she could hear the chendamelam (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chenda), and as we get out of the house, you would see and hear the neighbors waking up and going to watch the utsavam. It would be pitch dark and we would find our way with small torch lights or no lights. One of the many stories my grandmother told me was about an ardent devotee who used to visit the temple every day. As she grew old, she couldn’t walk to the temple everyday. She was heartbroken and Krishna promised to visit her - the trip to Pookkothu Nada is supposed to meet his devotee. 

Thousands of people gather to watch Krishna and Balaram. The dance is called “thidambu nritham”. The priests carry the idols on their heads accompanied by chenda, manja Vadi (yellow sticks), alavattom, venjamaram and the traditional torches known as pantham. The idols are heavy, roughly 30 kgs each, I am told. The whole place reverberates with the chanting of “Govinda Govinda”. The brothers are playful and the young and old alike run with them. The brothers tease the crowd and sometimes play along. There are times when we would head back home thinking the Utsavam is over, but would hear them running all the way back to Pookkothu Nada. Though I used to feel upset about the fact that only boys run, today I am content watching the brothers dance :-) Women aren’t allowed inside the temple during these fourteen days when the brothers are together!!!

On 17th of March, there are no festivities outside the temple. On 18th, Krishna brings his brother along to show him his town “Naadu valam vekkal”. The houses are cleaned and traditional lamps are lit, welcoming them. I had the opportunity to watch naadu valam vekkal after many years this time. It was a first for my husband. I remember waiting for the procession as a child as my mom prepared to light the lamps. I expected the procession to be a small one in this social media age and surprisingly it was really big and with a lot of women accompanying the idols.


The next day is “aarattu” when the brothers take a dip in the pond together- you can see the devotees taking a dip at same time! The water in the pond then is considered holy and is sprinkled on people around.

The last day is “koodipiriyal” meaning termination of the meeting. Krishna is so playful that he ignores everything when his brother is around. By evening, the brothers come out to play.  While they are playing, Krishna sees someone carrying milk (paloru) and runs behind the milk leaving his brother alone, the only way to distract Krishna to get back to his duties. Balarama goes/runs back to his temple in Mazhoor accompanied by a lot of people chanting “Govinda, Govinda” to return next year. My husband is planning to run next time :-) This festival is also one of the few (or the only one) large temple festivals where there is no presence of elephants in Kerala.

People from Thrichambaram talk for months before the Utsavam and continue to talk about the same for months after. And  I continue to chant the same shloka every day that my mom taught me. Help me watch the utsavam year after year Krishnaa...

ചിറ്റാടയും ചെറു ചിലമ്പും ഒരോണവില്ലും

പുൽതാലികൾ തുളസിമാലകൾ പൂണ്ട ദേവാ

തൃച്ഛംബരത്തു തിരുവുത്സവവേല കാണാൻ

കൃഷ്ണാ നിനക്കടിമ ഞാനിതാ കൈതൊഴുന്നേൻ

For alavattom and venjamaram pictures:
https://www.google.co.in/search?q=alavattom&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#imgrc=r8h6uOdCOTUKBM:

https://www.google.co.in/search?q=venjamaram&client=safari&hl=en-gb&prmd=mvin&ei=j9atWuCJO4T8vATgwYSwDw&start=0&sa=N&biw=375&bih=628#imgrc=GRNEV03pf3Ju3M:

For details on "thidambu nritham"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thidambu_Nritham