A close non-malayalee friend of mine asked me what was my reaction to the Supreme Court verdict on allowing women to Sabarimala temple. I said I have mixed feelings! And she asked me why mixed feelings?
I am 48, have a lot of grey hair and am medically cleared to go to Sabarimala (thanks to an early partial hysterectomy at the age of 40).
So why haven't I made the trip in the last 8 years? I don't know! It definitely wasn't the belief that women should go there only after menopause. I didn't feel the need to rush! Or was I waiting for some more time just to be compliant? I am not sure. It was OK for me to sit and pray to him from home.
I believe in god. I pray. I visit temples.
How did I become a believer? Mostly because of what my parents and elders taught and told me when I was a child. Somewhere, there was also a bit of a pressure and fear put into me at a young age to follow the customs as dictated. And I was not one of those who questioned those.
I continue to follow some of the practices, but differently now. I follow only those practices that gives me mental peace.
When I am in my ancestral village, I go to a number of temples (my daughters call them temple runs). There are multiple reasons why I do that. Now I just like going there, it makes me feel content! The smell, the lamps, the environment - they bring back peace and happiness! It is a trip back to some lovely memories of my parents. It is touching to watch my younger brother, who is an ardent believer, surrendering himself to god! It just feels nice, it feels as if I am following an unwritten duty to myself!
So back to the question on Supreme Court verdict. When I first heard about this appeal, my first reaction was is this really what women empowerment in India/Kerala needs to focus on.
As I started reading and thinking about it, I felt I may not have given this enough thought. I also went through a number of WA posts, videos and arguments in FB which were absolutely crazy.
I remember my father going to Sabarimala religiously for 25 years. At that time, it was next to impossible for a woman to travel to Sabarimala - physically difficult to make that trip. I remember my mother sitting in a closed room and not touching anything during her periods when my father was on the 41 day vrutham (fast/vow). Over a period of time, I have seen this practice going away. Who could afford so many leaves (my mom was a teacher), who would cook for the family when my mom was inside the room (I don't think my father even knew how to make tea!!). I have also seen my male relatives going to Sabarimala without the 41 day vrutham off late. Things changed to suit our way of living.
I come from Taliparamba, home to the famous Sri Raja Rajeswara temple. Women are allowed inside the temple only at night and on Maha Sivarathri. Till recently, I didn't think of it as a gender bias. I followed the custom dutifully! These customs have been ingrained in me so much that I have been following them blindly! I felt gratified that I have the opportunity to go inside at night.
I am glad, this verdict has made me look at these customs differently. Though there is a nagging doubt from what I have been taught and told for 40+ years, I now think, it is fair to give equal rights to women to go to any place of worship. There comes the mixed feelings!
I sent my daughters to Sabarimala when they were 9 years old. I am really glad that they now have an option to choose based on what they believe in. It isn't a small win!!!
I want to go to Sabarimala a second time with my cousin - she and I climbed the mala (hill) when we were 9 years old! It was great fun! I know I can't recreate that magic, but reliving that beautiful journey will definitely bring some happiness!
I am 48, have a lot of grey hair and am medically cleared to go to Sabarimala (thanks to an early partial hysterectomy at the age of 40).
So why haven't I made the trip in the last 8 years? I don't know! It definitely wasn't the belief that women should go there only after menopause. I didn't feel the need to rush! Or was I waiting for some more time just to be compliant? I am not sure. It was OK for me to sit and pray to him from home.
I believe in god. I pray. I visit temples.
How did I become a believer? Mostly because of what my parents and elders taught and told me when I was a child. Somewhere, there was also a bit of a pressure and fear put into me at a young age to follow the customs as dictated. And I was not one of those who questioned those.
I continue to follow some of the practices, but differently now. I follow only those practices that gives me mental peace.
When I am in my ancestral village, I go to a number of temples (my daughters call them temple runs). There are multiple reasons why I do that. Now I just like going there, it makes me feel content! The smell, the lamps, the environment - they bring back peace and happiness! It is a trip back to some lovely memories of my parents. It is touching to watch my younger brother, who is an ardent believer, surrendering himself to god! It just feels nice, it feels as if I am following an unwritten duty to myself!
So back to the question on Supreme Court verdict. When I first heard about this appeal, my first reaction was is this really what women empowerment in India/Kerala needs to focus on.
As I started reading and thinking about it, I felt I may not have given this enough thought. I also went through a number of WA posts, videos and arguments in FB which were absolutely crazy.
I remember my father going to Sabarimala religiously for 25 years. At that time, it was next to impossible for a woman to travel to Sabarimala - physically difficult to make that trip. I remember my mother sitting in a closed room and not touching anything during her periods when my father was on the 41 day vrutham (fast/vow). Over a period of time, I have seen this practice going away. Who could afford so many leaves (my mom was a teacher), who would cook for the family when my mom was inside the room (I don't think my father even knew how to make tea!!). I have also seen my male relatives going to Sabarimala without the 41 day vrutham off late. Things changed to suit our way of living.
I come from Taliparamba, home to the famous Sri Raja Rajeswara temple. Women are allowed inside the temple only at night and on Maha Sivarathri. Till recently, I didn't think of it as a gender bias. I followed the custom dutifully! These customs have been ingrained in me so much that I have been following them blindly! I felt gratified that I have the opportunity to go inside at night.
I am glad, this verdict has made me look at these customs differently. Though there is a nagging doubt from what I have been taught and told for 40+ years, I now think, it is fair to give equal rights to women to go to any place of worship. There comes the mixed feelings!
I sent my daughters to Sabarimala when they were 9 years old. I am really glad that they now have an option to choose based on what they believe in. It isn't a small win!!!
I want to go to Sabarimala a second time with my cousin - she and I climbed the mala (hill) when we were 9 years old! It was great fun! I know I can't recreate that magic, but reliving that beautiful journey will definitely bring some happiness!
Beautiful write up Manjula...Totally agree with your thought of following rituals which gives mental peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nutan
ReplyDeleteGood writing. visiting temple and doing rituals doesn't make anyone a believer, they never prescribe you to believe anything, but rather seek inner peace, just like mindfulness and meditation.
ReplyDeleteThank you
Delete